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Humor: Is it Paranormal?

If you looked in the dictionary under scaredy cat, our family photo would be there, pets included. I will tell you, it does not take much to spook our family.  Our families first thought when something happens, (do do do do que the Twilight Zone music) that it is paranormal ghost related.

Let me set up the story for you. It was a stormy dark night. The tree branches were clanging on the side of the house; lights were flickering. NAH, not really! 😀 It was a quiet sunny fall day.

Our family was watching “Paranormal Witness” on On Demand. My son says, ” did you hear that?”  I thought, oh, he is just spooked because of what we are watching. Then a few minutes later my husband puts the remote on mute. “I heard something” he says. And it’s a given(from previous post) that Boone, the old grumpy hard of hearing farting dog did not hear a thing. At this time our spook meter is on high. We go on watching our show (guarded), when our cat, Princess Lucky Star slowly, with belly dragging on the floor, creeps towards the wood stove (freaking us out),”RRAR, hiss”, half gainer. Bang Bang Flutter Flutter erupts from the wood stove. We all look at each other (Boone oblivious).

AAHHH! THERES A GHOST IN OUR WOOD STOVE! Nah, it was a bird.

We slowly walk up to the stove; we cannot see anything in side. Our minds go back to it being a ghost. My husband slowly (yes everything we do is done slowly) opens the door. My son flashes  the flash light into the stove and there sits a mid-sized bird peeking over the shelve. Door closes and game plan is on. Kitty is put in the bedroom, doors all open with screen door locked open, pillows over our heads. Okay, maybe that was just me with the pillow thing. Again, slowly my son opens the stove. Nothing, no movement at all. We all sit down; we wait as the house gets cold.  My husband gets the back scratcher and clunks the top of the stove to hopefully scare it out; no movement. Stove closes, door closes and kitty is let out.Trying to get that ghost bird out of our stove was not easy. An hour later, after opening and closing doors, we go what the heck, and just leave the stove door open with the house doors closed.

The tv show was over and my husband had gone outside and OUT comes the bird, flying all over the house; kitty back on her belly and Boone is still sleeping on his pillow. I, Auntie RV  open the front door, grab my pillow, hide behind the couch on my knees (pillow over head) while my son runs to the back door to open it. My husband is watching all this go down from outside and is splitting a gut at our expense. We are getting dive bombed and then the dang bird finally lands on the curtain rod. My son and I (with my pillow) “slowly”  move towards the bird. It swoops over to the door and perches on it, then with cheers of joy it flies out the door.

My husband got the stink eye. He says, “What? It was funny!”

Sweet Mercy…Enjoy Life!

Auntie RV

Camping: Our Dog Has Issues

Like many others, our dog is a big part of our family and we love him dearly. HOWEVER, he is an old grumpy hard of hearing farting k-9 and gets his way most of the time, just to keep the peace. Boone, an Australian Shepard loves to go camping with us in our RV, even with his “issues”.

In this instance, humor is in the eye of the beholder; although, no one at the time thinks this is humorous one bit and especially Boone. You see, Boone has his own pillow that we HAVE to take with us, when we go camping. He has to get that pillow fluffed and in just the right place in the RV before he will settle down and finally lay his head on his pillow. Of course, he is ALWAYS in the way; we try to step around him which isn’t easy in a motorhome. So, what does Boone say when he is annoyed at our attempt to move around him or really when he is annoyed at anything? “RUBBA RUBBA RUBBA!”, meaning “I am old and grumpy…DEAL WITH IT!”

Let me enlighten you with how we get our old grumpy hard of hearing farting k-9 up into the RV. Okay, I put Boone on a long leash, walk him to the open door of the motorhome, I walk up the steps, turn around and look at him, and talk in my sweetest  voice I can think of and say, ” Come on Boony”(me smiling, with no teeth showing, as a dog thinks that is me growling at him) “Good boy Boone! Lets go for a ride!” …did I mention he is hard of hearing and almost deaf. Though, that doesn’t seem to stop any of us from talking to him, as we think our dog is so smart he can read lips.

He looks up at me, looks at the first step which is the metal one, that he won’t step on and he growls. Well more like a moaning growl…meaning, “Not this crap again!” He passes the first step to the second step(front feet only) and slides down to the first step (fart). By this time he has told us, ” you better come up with a better plan than this! RUBBA RUBBA RUBBA!”

Out of frustration and me having to go potty, I end up tying the leash to the handle by the door, leave the door open and I walk away. “RUBBA RUBBA RUBBA! Fine! I will do it myself!” he bellows after every attempt, then finally up he comes, fart, fluff fluff, fart, and plops on his pillow.

Boone and His Pillow

This year I think a handicap ramp will help stop the time used up “RUBBA RUBBA RUBBAing it!” don’t you?

Sweet Mercy…Enjoy Life!

Auntie RV

Pet Peeve: Pulling Out in Front of an RV

We are driving down the road in our RV (motorhome) minding our own business, eating  our hostess raspberry filled powdered donuts, which is a  long-established tradition for any of our road trips, with me humming Christmas music 🙂 and some dweeb pulls out in front of us; if my husband was telling the story you would replace the word dweeb with numb nuts.

Now there is powdered donuts, coffee, juice, binoculars, maps, cell phones, and an old grumpy hard of hearing farting dog flying all over the place; thank you very much…NOT! I don’t have many pet peeves other than the QUIT TALKING/TEXTING ON THE PHONE WHILE DRIVING pet peeve , but the pulling out in front of an RV is one of the ” God almighty, your lucky Auntie RV doesn’t know who you are, cuz if I did, I’d be callin your mother” biggest pet peeves I have!!

Seriously dweebs and dweebettes of the world, do you not understand when there is a big honkin RV coming down the road, minding their own business  (going the speed limit) and you pull out in front of them their life flashes before their eyes?!  I wonder if you realize how close YOU are to having an RV plow you down; trying to stop or slow down a “big honkin RV is not the same as trying to stop or slow down a car!

What is one of your pet peeve while driving?

Sweet Mercy…Enjoy Life!

Auntie RV