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Podcast + Auntie RV = Humor

I was thinking the other day, bubble cloud above head…”Hmm, I guess I should expand my knowledge of..something. I have heard of this podcasting stuff; maybe I could get some edgumacation from a podcast. By the way, what a weird name PodCast is. Podcast, pod…cast paaawdcassttttt.” 🙂

Anywho…

So, out I go into the World Wide Web to search. Let’s put in the search box “How to” and “podcast” just to see what is out there. Woah! Now, why would someone need to know how to use a public bathroom! Seriously, if you need to go to a podcast to find out how to pee in a toilet, YOU should NOT be OUT in public!

Okay, I am getting side-tracked here. scrolling past some interesting topics; none seem to fit the bill. Bubble cloud above head…”Hmm, now where did that saying come from(fit the bill)?” This is harder than I thought and no, I am not saying that I know everything. I only know enough to get me in trouble. However, I meant it is hard to find something special. There it is…How To Be Awesome!  It says “Moving” on this episode. Thats what they call these podcast things (episodes). I guess it means I am going to move closer to being AWESOME!! Bubble cloud…”If there was more people that were tagged as awesome, wouldn’t the world be a better place? I shall now be known as Awesome Auntie RV! 🙂 ”

Before I click the listen button I grab paper and pen. This is going to be so interesting to know how to be awesome!

Click…buffering…a..wa..buffering..er..yo. “Grumble grumble dial-up!!”

How am I going to be Awesome Auntie RV at this rate? Finally, I am getting a few sentences at a time. Yaeeee! WHAT THE HECK IS THIS CRAP?! 😦 It is two young women; at least they sound young. jabbering on about moving to a new place to live. I keep listening. There has to be a tid bit of knowledge somewhere in this “podcast” that will help me be awesome. I feel I am listening to a SNL skit. You know those ones that are meaningless and a waste of time. I suppose this podcast and my issues have a twinge of humor in it, but not for me, as I am on a mission to be awesome.

After ten dang minutes of noooothhhhinggggg I click the X!

HUMFFF!!! 😦

I’m back to just Auntie RV. My own awesomeness shall have to do for now.

Sweet Mercy…Enjoy Life!

Auntie RV

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Spooky True Story: Goosebumps Commence

We still are not sure what to think of this apparition incident. Of all the places to visit, why here? Why would whoever think, when I die and go to the other side, I want to live at Auntie RV’s?

Years ago, when my son was small he would play in his room a lot, jabbering away, as usual.  We would make small of it and think it was cute that our son must have an imaginary friend. We would ask him, “what’s your friend’s name?” He would quickly reply, “It’s Hap-a-ga!” and seemed irritated that we were asking. We would walk by his room and hear Hapaga this and Hapaga that. We started noticing that he was looking towards something when he would be jabbering, as if he was in a true conversation. This went on for about two years and I started to get an uneasy feeling about this Hapaga. So, one day I went in his room and sat down with him.

I said, “is Hapaga here now?”

Son: “Yes.” looking in one direction as to say, he’s right there.

Me: “where is he?”

Son: with eyes scrunched (upset) he points, “right there!” Like why are you asking, can’t you see him.

Me: What is he doing?”

Son: “smiling at me.”

Hmm, maybe Hapaga is really Happy Guy?

Me: goosebumps commence, “is he always in your room?”

Son: “yes.”

Me: Jesus loves me this I know…! (read previous post to understand) 🙂

I then called my most spiritual Christian friend. She said put the phone on speaker phone; Check, speaker on.  She told Hapaga to take a hike (in Christian lingo and Bible verses)…”ya, what she said!” I said after she hung up. 

We had not heard or seen my son interact with Hapaga since that time.

Until…one night (a couple of years ago) in the middle of the night at that, I hear my son(who was 13 then) talking in his sleep, “inaudible… Where is Hapaga?”

Goosebumps commence again; Jesus loves me this I know…!!!!! I did some of my own “get the heck out of here” Bible verses and all, and again…haven’t heard anything of Hapaga.

Has Hapaga always been around and in stealth mode or what? Why would he mention it in his dreams; he had never mentioned his name and we never brought it up, since that day when he was four years old.

I think this is the only two spooky stories I have; my life now has been uneventful in the paranormal area and would like to keep it that way!

Now, back to more humor and less que the Twilight Zone music. 🙂

Sweet Mercy…Enjoy Life!

Auntie RV

 

Spooky Humor: Don’t Open Your Eyes!

In light of Halloween nearing us, I thought I would tell a couple of spooky stories…TRUE spooky stories that really happened. Someone from the otherside had to have known that my family and I would not find these two instances humorous or endearing; it was scary then and it still makes me shiver!

I had just gone to bed, while my husband had gone to bed earlier and was snoring away. I started to say my prayers (of course with eyes closed and silently), “Dear Lord, thank you for a wonderful day”, when I felt someone tucking me in,  from one side (from foot to shoulder) to the other side (foot to shoulder). Not sure how I did this but my brain said, “DON”T OPEN YOUR EYES! DON”T OPEN YOUR EYES!” and at the same time did what I normal do when something scares me like this. I sing “Jesus loves me this I know…” as to say, “I am a Christian and God will kick your butt if you hurt me! 😀

With my eyes still closed, tightly and wide awake, I then tried to rationalize it “…Hmm, maybe I was asleep”, when it happened again! “DON”T OPEN YOUR EYES! DON”T OPEN YOUR EYES! Jesus loves me this I know…”. I guess whoever it was just wanted to make sure I felt them. HELLO! I felt you the first time!

It has never happened again, thank God!

Sweet Mercy…Enjoy Life!

Auntie RV

Next blog (true story) will be about a visiting apparition.

No Humor: Loud Talker Walkers

Aaa…it is early Sunday morning, I mean EARLY, as in 4 am and I am snoozin away, dreamin I had just won the Power Ball lottery 🙂 when all of the sudden, I am awakened by Charlie Brown’s teacher! Male voice, “WAH WAH WAH WAH?”(inaudible words). Female voice, “WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH!!” This conversation went on and on and NEVER stopped as they (crumudgeons, yahoos, doe-doe heads, or husbands favorite; numb nuts)slowly saunter down our road.

After waking Auntie RV from happyland, the least they could have done was speak clearly, so I could hear what they were yelling about. I mean geesh, I had my ear pressed firmly to the window, just tryin to get a tid-bit of what was SOOOO important and all I got was WAH WAH WAH!

How inconsiderate! 😀

Sweet Mercy…Enjoy Life!

Auntie RV

Humor: Is it Paranormal?

If you looked in the dictionary under scaredy cat, our family photo would be there, pets included. I will tell you, it does not take much to spook our family.  Our families first thought when something happens, (do do do do que the Twilight Zone music) that it is paranormal ghost related.

Let me set up the story for you. It was a stormy dark night. The tree branches were clanging on the side of the house; lights were flickering. NAH, not really! 😀 It was a quiet sunny fall day.

Our family was watching “Paranormal Witness” on On Demand. My son says, ” did you hear that?”  I thought, oh, he is just spooked because of what we are watching. Then a few minutes later my husband puts the remote on mute. “I heard something” he says. And it’s a given(from previous post) that Boone, the old grumpy hard of hearing farting dog did not hear a thing. At this time our spook meter is on high. We go on watching our show (guarded), when our cat, Princess Lucky Star slowly, with belly dragging on the floor, creeps towards the wood stove (freaking us out),”RRAR, hiss”, half gainer. Bang Bang Flutter Flutter erupts from the wood stove. We all look at each other (Boone oblivious).

AAHHH! THERES A GHOST IN OUR WOOD STOVE! Nah, it was a bird.

We slowly walk up to the stove; we cannot see anything in side. Our minds go back to it being a ghost. My husband slowly (yes everything we do is done slowly) opens the door. My son flashes  the flash light into the stove and there sits a mid-sized bird peeking over the shelve. Door closes and game plan is on. Kitty is put in the bedroom, doors all open with screen door locked open, pillows over our heads. Okay, maybe that was just me with the pillow thing. Again, slowly my son opens the stove. Nothing, no movement at all. We all sit down; we wait as the house gets cold.  My husband gets the back scratcher and clunks the top of the stove to hopefully scare it out; no movement. Stove closes, door closes and kitty is let out.Trying to get that ghost bird out of our stove was not easy. An hour later, after opening and closing doors, we go what the heck, and just leave the stove door open with the house doors closed.

The tv show was over and my husband had gone outside and OUT comes the bird, flying all over the house; kitty back on her belly and Boone is still sleeping on his pillow. I, Auntie RV  open the front door, grab my pillow, hide behind the couch on my knees (pillow over head) while my son runs to the back door to open it. My husband is watching all this go down from outside and is splitting a gut at our expense. We are getting dive bombed and then the dang bird finally lands on the curtain rod. My son and I (with my pillow) “slowly”  move towards the bird. It swoops over to the door and perches on it, then with cheers of joy it flies out the door.

My husband got the stink eye. He says, “What? It was funny!”

Sweet Mercy…Enjoy Life!

Auntie RV

Camping: Our Dog Has Issues

Like many others, our dog is a big part of our family and we love him dearly. HOWEVER, he is an old grumpy hard of hearing farting k-9 and gets his way most of the time, just to keep the peace. Boone, an Australian Shepard loves to go camping with us in our RV, even with his “issues”.

In this instance, humor is in the eye of the beholder; although, no one at the time thinks this is humorous one bit and especially Boone. You see, Boone has his own pillow that we HAVE to take with us, when we go camping. He has to get that pillow fluffed and in just the right place in the RV before he will settle down and finally lay his head on his pillow. Of course, he is ALWAYS in the way; we try to step around him which isn’t easy in a motorhome. So, what does Boone say when he is annoyed at our attempt to move around him or really when he is annoyed at anything? “RUBBA RUBBA RUBBA!”, meaning “I am old and grumpy…DEAL WITH IT!”

Let me enlighten you with how we get our old grumpy hard of hearing farting k-9 up into the RV. Okay, I put Boone on a long leash, walk him to the open door of the motorhome, I walk up the steps, turn around and look at him, and talk in my sweetest  voice I can think of and say, ” Come on Boony”(me smiling, with no teeth showing, as a dog thinks that is me growling at him) “Good boy Boone! Lets go for a ride!” …did I mention he is hard of hearing and almost deaf. Though, that doesn’t seem to stop any of us from talking to him, as we think our dog is so smart he can read lips.

He looks up at me, looks at the first step which is the metal one, that he won’t step on and he growls. Well more like a moaning growl…meaning, “Not this crap again!” He passes the first step to the second step(front feet only) and slides down to the first step (fart). By this time he has told us, ” you better come up with a better plan than this! RUBBA RUBBA RUBBA!”

Out of frustration and me having to go potty, I end up tying the leash to the handle by the door, leave the door open and I walk away. “RUBBA RUBBA RUBBA! Fine! I will do it myself!” he bellows after every attempt, then finally up he comes, fart, fluff fluff, fart, and plops on his pillow.

Boone and His Pillow

This year I think a handicap ramp will help stop the time used up “RUBBA RUBBA RUBBAing it!” don’t you?

Sweet Mercy…Enjoy Life!

Auntie RV

My Humor: New Gravatar -What’s Wrong With This Picture?

You will find my humor to be wishy washy at times and at other times your drink will come shootin out your nose. Nonetheless, my new gravatar cracks me up and I hope you enjoy it! Well, not really, I don’t care if you think it isn’t funny or you don’t enjoy it; I like it, because my mind goes where others dare not tread. Ha ha! 😀

I took this picture of a sign on  Mothers day two years ago at Deception Pass in Washington State. Okay, yes I know it is a serious matter to NOT fall off a cliff and to stay on the trail. BUT is it any wonder why this guy fell off the cliff?

HE HAS NO FEET!!!

HA HA HA HA ooooo SNORT! HA HA HA HA!!